


You Damn Creep

by femmefatales



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series, short little interaction between my favorite doofuses, whichever! kirk is more in character for the movies though
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, M/M, Relationship Advice, kirk ships mcchekov, kirk wants bones to GET IT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 09:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9118393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmefatales/pseuds/femmefatales
Summary: Kirk urges Bones to make a move on Chekov. Bones is not amused (although he doesn't deny anything, either).No actual underage in this. It's just Kirk being a hyper-sexual weirdo and teasing Bones about wanting to get in Chekov's pants. Although Chekov is seventeen (almost 18) at this time.





	

“So,” Kirk asked, wiggling his perfectly-arched eyebrows “I've noticed Ensign Chekov's been spending a lot of time in sickbay lately.” 

“What the hell are you implying, Jim? I hate that goddamn eyebrow thing, would you stop that?” 

“Has he professed his undying love for you yet?” And then, in an extremely high and obnoxious imitation of a Russian accent: “Oh, Doktor, I lowe you!! Pleez, Doktor, ravish me! My name is Chekov and I'm a little tvink--” 

Bones groaned, walking quicker in a futile attempt to escape Kirk. “He's seventeen, you damn creep!”

Kirk pouted at that. “Not for long! And hey, don't worry. He's all yours. He's pretty, but not my type. I'm more into...pointy ears. And weird bowl-cuts.”

“We all know you’re in love with the green hobgoblin, Jim,” McCoy said, crossing his arms. Kirk flushed at the word ‘love’. “ Look, Chekov’s just...lonely. Kid needs a friend and for some reason I'm it. God forbid I should enjoy his company without wanting to fuck him.” 

“You most definitely want to fuck him.” 

“You--Close that ugly mouth of yours before I hypo you into a very long, deep sleep.” 

Kirk grinned, smile white and mischievous. “You're not denying it. Fantastic. Well, as your Captain and friend I order you to get a piece of that sweet, virginal Russian ass.” 

Before Bones could whack Jim across the back of his head, he had scampered away to God knows where.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WAS SILLY LOL. it popped into my head the other night and I must say I had fun with this, hahahahaha!  
> As always: PLEASE comment below and let me know if there is anything specific you would like to see me write. I can do Star Trek, Harry Potter, Supernatural, and a bunch of other stuff. Just let me know! You can also email me at heyhowareyouimgood@gmail.com for prompts. I'll gift the work to you!  
> <3 femmefatales


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